Fuck you humanity.

Dear humanity,

Fuck you humanity for being lead by your greed and your impatience and your lack of compassion, not just for your fellow humans but for the other beings living on this planet and for the planet itself,
Fuck you for being a plague on our home,
Fuck you for taking and taking over and over again and never giving back,
Fuck you for brainwashing our citizens so much that they can't even fucking see what has gone on,
Fuck you for dulling down the populations so much that nobody can fucking think for themselves anymore and barely anyone seems to truly understand the impact we have on the world around us.
Fuck you for your stupid monetary investments into "making the world a better place" while all the while further destroying our beautiful globe of light and life,
Fuck you for continuing the lust for power and for bombing and killing loads and loads of people just for oil and again monetary gain,
Fuck you for trying to convince us all there's nothing to worry about when there really is,
Fuck you for pushing so many into spiraling depression so that we are so deep in our personal hell that we are too weak to do anything about it
Fuck you for preaching a world of love while all the while deceiving everyone.
Fuck you for being human. Fuck you for being lead by mundane temptations. Fuck you for giving people the "illusion of power" while all the while further distracting them so that they can't actually do anything with that power.
Fuck you humanity for being so fucking weak and just letting these sins run wild.
Fuck you humanity, you selfish selfish beings.

Fuck me for not being able to do anything but write this stupid fucking piece in hopes that I'm not the only fucking 10 headed alien on this planet who actually fucking gives a shit and fucking sees that something needs to change, and although i agree we all need to do our internal bit, I have to ask when does thought become action? Because thinking and contemplating the possibility of change is no good if none of us are willing to put those thoughts into action and actually make a sodding fucking difference.

Fuck you, humanity! Fuck you.

Because I knew, I knew it all

I was the dickhead that broke my bloody heart,
 I was the pillock I knew it from the start,
 but I hold no regrets, not one at all because I knew, I knew it all.

Nothing you want comes without  a cost, it can love you and leave you feeling lost,
but I will not turn my back up against the wall... Because I knew, I knew it all

And so you break me down just to build me up again,
i will not frown I'll simply stand against you in this now,
 for I can't pretend I know it all, but I knew I knew it all. Until we meet again, my friend farewell.


I guess now I know, I know nothing at all.

Change the story, Sadness is not needed

The demons jump up,
they start to scag my clothes, they leave me scarred, a broken mess on the floor,
They shake me and rattle me until I can't take no more,
But here I am, healing they say
and i seem to be gaining the patience and will to face each day

My poetry was once so negative,
change it around, make it so I face each day,
with a ray of light,
a dazzle of day
It will all be okay.

I will show everyone, I will prove myself wrong
Why look upon everything, without a little bird song,

Caught out

Not that it matters anyway,
but your heart is way ahead of your brains,
your actions are not what you think, they're what you feel;
ain't that so surreal?
Stumbling from place to place,
Forgetting to check the makeup all over your face,
this, you can't replace,
everything might be at stake,
your dreams unheard of,
hidden in the fogs of broken dreams,
trying to discover what this all means;
Nothing is truly ever as it seems,
but I guess you manifest your reality,
and if you want it shallow and mean,
you'll never discover what it all really means...

And so he'll keep looking curiously intrigued,
by what he perceives to be me.

Fear prevents growth

I feel the weight of the sky
and the heat of the moment,
this love will pass me by,
like the rushing of the river,

My heart will cry for that which is not good for me,
my gut will scream to leave for my highest intentions,
my brain will stay in naive curiosity,
 to see if what I know to be true is actually true,
In the meanwhile, my body will hunger for something new.

It all feels the same,
this addiction, that makes me insane,
this false light which saves me from the inane.
The impossible becomes possible when you put your heart on the line.
but it also opens a door to a kind of suffering that makes us blind.

You've got to take risks in life, to make it through alive.
To live avoiding risk is a life not worth living,
To live hiding from some of the most powerful emotions in the world,
can be quite a dull life.

I've lived with nothing and it does bring peace,
but living with something gives me a reason to loosen the leash,
There's so much to experience, so much to see, so much to hear.
I haven't even experienced a fraction of it yet.

Open your arms, trust the wind to hold you upright.
Glide with style, let the universe make you smile...
Remember this experience is all worth while.
Don't be afraid to go that extra mile.

Although these memories will just be another file.
Don't take things too seriously,
it's not worth the stress!

Diamond disaster

Leading into the untold memories.
A tale of woe, A childhood released.
A life of torture and incapacity.
Living for what seems like an eternity.

I fear the sounds, the aches I feel.
I dread the clouds that wash over me.
My heart is sound, not blackened beneath,
but my head it pounds, Lost in the sheath.

I'm not the person you may believe.
But I can overcome what made me leave.
I've come back around, with my wreath.
To take away the forgotten, I've come to free.
To help me breathe.

This reality is not as dark as it seems,
Yes the darkness can consume,
It can defy gravity to,
It often seems too awful to be true.
But overcome it you will. You WILL get through.

The tunnel is long and seemingly endless,
It goes on and on and leaves you helpless.
But give in to it and accept the fight,
Learn to crawl in the depths of night,
and just as you feel you can't find your light...
It will wash over you in the blink of an eye.

And here I'll stay to guide,
an earth angel from birth, your connection to the moon.
But you see all things must come to an end,
the good and the bad,
The love of a friend.
One day I won't have a helping hand to lend.
But don't be afraid to chat once again.
The end of the journey, it makes me sad.
although the journey is slowly making me mad.
I can't turn my back on a 'lad'.
You're the best friend I ever had.

And here's a toast,
to the bride and the groom.
My soul will always yearn for you.
Your happiness was so alive and true.
The moment you walked on through.


Where have I gone, I cannot say.
But you will see me another day,
My head is dazed and maybe not okay.
but you know where I lay...

Please don't have another glass of Chardonnay!

Dare to venture?

The gates of change have opened,
The pull to the unknown is true,
I'll have to keep my wits about me,
If I'm to make my dreams come out of the blue.

It appears to be a rocky road,
But everybody is afraid of the unknown,
Face the future with my satchel over my shoulder,
Play the fool and face the world alone.

I've been so sensible for so long,
I've not listened to my hearts plea,
for freedom and understanding,
for happiness and glee.

I've made excuse after excuse,
but the truth is I've been living for others,
I've made decisions against my soul,
just to prove my worth to countless lovers

because I've dealt with constant disappointment from those at home,
I've cared so much of others thoughts,
so much so, I've neglected my own!

Only to end up in the same position,
of discontent and misery,
I'm not saying it's justifiable, but it is what I've begun to see.

Not realising that what I've needed is to explore my inner child

Make a stand for my soul
this is my indefinite goal.
Find my light and let it grow,
let it show me how to be whole.

I am me. I am a force for good.
This individual has much to do.
My work has not begun yet,
and can't be until I'm through,

So save me all your concern,
Let me walk this road, discerned.
Let me make my mistakes and learn.
Let my fire burn.

Before it is too late.

Walk away from consistent consequential behaviour.

Pushing away may seem like the actions of a selfish man,
A person who quite easily can't see his fingers from his hands.

An inner child who is only now learning how to crawl,
It's taken some time and some people to go through it all.

Self-control... easy to maintain if you're on your own.
Hard to sustain when you can't trust yourself, when you don't know yourself..
I guess I've got to walk this road alone.

I'd love to give you the reins like I did before,
consistently following, I don't need my control.

But I do, inevitably, need to get past the crawl...

Those affected... I can only show remorse...
The feeling is there but yet I can't help but lose it all..
I disconnect, I re-elect... I deject.
What have I been doing all this for?

For fuck sake Shannon, it's taken 8 years of this insane behaviour
It's about time you thought to save ya... Constantly justifying the same wager.
Juggling hearts as if it's your major.

When enough is enough, you need to obey her. She needs respect and self-love.. don't delay her...
Your higher-self stays in a different layer, especially if you can't overcome what makes you stay here.


Look I'm not asking you to stay detached, to stop the quest for love, not lust.
I'm asking you to respect what god gave you and let that magic shine through
like a UV light shows invisible ink! Your fingerprints...

The premise of your being, past your mind, your body.
Your soul needs the nourishment, just like everybody...

Just plant the seeds for your future.
Be patient to see them bloom and appear.
That will be your remedy, this will be your cure

So I refer back to the man that walked away,
was he being selfish or selfless?
Selfish for leaving the important things behind or selfless for seeing the damage he'd cause by sticking around

basically just attempting to avoid that pain and suffering... past his own disdain.

Longing for freedom

What a curious world we live in,
Where paying our bills is our priority,
Where working our arses off is our philosophy,
Where 'growing up' is mandatory.
And yet, none of us see.

We were all once children,
We were wild, we were free.
We lived in the world of the imaginary,
Where anything was possible, where we could simply be.
Why have we lost our purity?
Where is our humility?
Why can't we be free?

We went through childhood,
We were conditioned and taught how to see,
How to breath, yet not how to believe,
Life was broken into sections, our imaginations constricted, our realities restricted,
Our paths depicted, generalised into the unimportant, yet made to believe they were important.

Lunacy.
We now lack our empathy, we now lack generosity, curiosity and most of all, humanity!
In a world built up of such beauty, how is it that we no longer see?
Why are we not free? Please help me understand what happened to me?

What happened to that little girl, who once saw the beauty in everything?
That little girl who was unafraid to say anything?
That little girl who admired all artistry?
That little girl, who was oh so slightly cheeky?
Where did she go? Why isn't that me?

I guess I just wish I could still see. Through the eyes of that child, who was once me.


Thoughtful Extension As the animals roam so wildly and so care free,
As the horses that run through the fields full of love and joy, not caring about their destiny, but possessing the ability to simply be.
Oh, how i wish to live with no worry of warranty, to live so naturally,
How I long for that ability! How I long to BE SILLY!
To be so gracefully ungraceful, to laugh, to cry, to not live this lie.
For existence to return to how it should be.
To live among the trees, to dream the biggest dreams!

To hold those of whome I love, to be loved for being me...
I wish to open my eyes, to see what lies behind, what we've all been conditioned to see.

Lust

I think I'm falling in love with you.
But I'd rather fall in lust,

Give me pleasure, without the pain,
Give me closeness, without the trust,
Give me breathtaking, without the beauty,
Give me enjoyment without wasting time!
Give me everything you've got,
Without having to make you mine.

Feel the vital kiss,
With a mouth as smooth as oil,
Feel your body ripple,
With a pleasure that shall not spoil,
Feel the intense nature,
Through a single glance of skin,
Feel your whole mind fill with intensity,
As lust slowly enters in.

Let the animal devour you,
As your want becomes your need,
Let it destroy the morals inside you,
Until you're let loose and you're freed,
Of every tie you've ever been given,
Of everything you've known as wrong,
Now there's a point of living,
If you would just play along.

...still won't you just stay a while?
Can we just stay real close?
Talk to me, it makes me smile,
I like you more than most,
I do adore the pleasure,
But what follows, unthought of, is pain,
As I realise through this awful scene,
That you'll never be mine to gain.

If to 'thine own self be true ',
was the truest quote ever said,
Then you can forget the lust,
Just give me true love instead

Forgive me.

In a state of emotional disvalue right now.
It's difficult to eat.
Difficult to sleep.
Difficult to breath.
I feel sick to my stomach.
I just need some relief.
Need to be held.
Need to find peace.

My heart is aching,
My head is hurting,
Everything feels cold.
What have I done?
Why did I do it?
I wish I knew so I could explain it to you.
Not that you'd listen.

Please forgive me.
Please stay close.
I can't face losing you again.

Why does this hurt so much.
Please save me this pain.
I plead for forgiveness,
Only to be ignored.

Please.
Save me.
I beg of you.

The fear of reality of going completely insane

I feel like my hues are muted,
Like I'm coloured outside the line.
I feel like my mind is polluted,
Like gray flowing down my spine.

Don't get the wrong impression,
I am not caught in a deep hole,
This is not black depression,
It's a dampening of my soul.

The blues of my skies are pink,
And the yellows of my sand is green,
My brain is too dull to think,
The slate is totally clean.

My palette just has shades of gray,
Nothing too dark or exciting,
The doctor wants it that way.

Don't get me started on writing,
The words just won't come to me,
For each letter, I am fighting,
So I can help you see,
How I want to flirt with insanity.

I crave the bright white,
And I do not fear depravity,
I will be high as a kite!
In a wondrous thunderstorm,
With rainbows and lightning!

The white will keep me warm,
While everything is frightening!
But mania stings like a bee,
And once it dies it unlocks
And sets the depression free
From out of pandoras box
Flows the reaper,
He drags me in deeper!

Do you want to hurt yourself?
Mark an x in the box...
Do you want to kill yourself?
No I won't stop my clock!
Love and curiosity keep me around!
What will be? How will they react?

Bring me back to the ground...
But oh this is all hypothetical...
I wouldn't do this another time,
It's just all theoretical.

I'm joking, I make big talk,
I'm terrified too much!
With this illness I won't walk
Without my crutch.
This little white pill,
Which makes life ordinary.

But I'll hold onto this fantasy still,
Of the extreme extraordinary!
But I won't let it tempt me,
Because of the fear of reality,
Of going completely insane.

what is love?

What is love? 

But a figment of the imagination

A simple, yet complex feeling of affection

Love is a word commonly misconstrued, its meaning is lost

In different tales, lost in the past, Hidden away and only some are fortunate enough to find it

It’s funny how all we hear about, is the miracle of “love”, When all it seems to bring is hopelessness, It brings nothing but pain

The heart is truly delicate, so easy to break yet so strong at the same time

What does it mean to be “in love”?

Is it just a chemical reaction that eventually stabilises?

Or does it go far deeper than that?

So many questions, Only a lifetime to find the answers

Answers that you may not really want

Is it better to just avoid Love? Or should we embrace it?

Should we search for Love? Or will it find us?

Only time will tell

But oh, we want it so badly,

We spend our lives hoping, praying that we eventually find it

Even though we don’t know what it is,

We’re scared to die alone, Afraid of never being loved by the one we grow to adore

This is my quest; I’m not going to give up,

Life’s a sweet adventure, conflicting pain and sorrow

But we don’t realise that there’s more,

How are we to forget Pandora’s Box? There’s always hope, Hope that happiness, Joy, perfection and Love will all be obtained

So there’s no reason to give up

I will find the answer to my question

What is love?