Nonsensical Reflection

I dreamt of you last night,
I dreamt of you in a new home,
with a new vibe,
you seemed happy...
Which is great...
No need for me to intervene....

I have actually thought about you a lot recently,
maybe it's because this time last year is where it all fell apart,
By that I mean, it's where I destroyed it,
I removed each brick one by one, from the bottom,
Like a game of Jenga,
It didn't fall,
I had to push it over...

A perfect story of self-sabotage....

So why?
I wonder,
Would I be feeling your yearning,
After I destroyed it so well,
A cheating, of honest proportions...
A fearing of perfection,
A path we could have gone down,
blocked by a wall that I built,
Out of fear that it could work,
Or was it more.... a knowing that there was something that I be not knowing?

I still wonder about that,
I still wonder what misinformation I was picking up on...

I do not think it was mere fear that held me back...
It was more…
There was something sneaky going on,
I was blindfolded in regards to something....

And a year on....
I am left still wondering...


I used to think that the truth always comes out eventually,
Now... I am not so sure.

Well...
At least my words have returned...
I missed being able to honestly reflect,
in the way I always did best.


I love you, I miss you and I hope life is treating you well.

Fuck you humanity.

Dear humanity,

Fuck you humanity for being lead by your greed and your impatience and your lack of compassion, not just for your fellow humans but for the other beings living on this planet and for the planet itself,
Fuck you for being a plague on our home,
Fuck you for taking and taking over and over again and never giving back,
Fuck you for brainwashing our citizens so much that they can't even fucking see what has gone on,
Fuck you for dulling down the populations so much that nobody can fucking think for themselves anymore and barely anyone seems to truly understand the impact we have on the world around us.
Fuck you for your stupid monetary investments into "making the world a better place" while all the while further destroying our beautiful globe of light and life,
Fuck you for continuing the lust for power and for bombing and killing loads and loads of people just for oil and again monetary gain,
Fuck you for trying to convince us all there's nothing to worry about when there really is,
Fuck you for pushing so many into spiraling depression so that we are so deep in our personal hell that we are too weak to do anything about it
Fuck you for preaching a world of love while all the while deceiving everyone.
Fuck you for being human. Fuck you for being lead by mundane temptations. Fuck you for giving people the "illusion of power" while all the while further distracting them so that they can't actually do anything with that power.
Fuck you humanity for being so fucking weak and just letting these sins run wild.
Fuck you humanity, you selfish selfish beings.

Fuck me for not being able to do anything but write this stupid fucking piece in hopes that I'm not the only fucking 10 headed alien on this planet who actually fucking gives a shit and fucking sees that something needs to change, and although i agree we all need to do our internal bit, I have to ask when does thought become action? Because thinking and contemplating the possibility of change is no good if none of us are willing to put those thoughts into action and actually make a sodding fucking difference.

Fuck you, humanity! Fuck you.

Action, reaction, self manipulation, faulty manifestation

The not so pretty side of Shannon

These insecurities brued up from years of feeling unwanted and not needed in this world,
This self pity assists no one.

my strength has faded and I am showing my untrue colours.
 Childish in need of growth, unfulfilled and wanting more, hiding in unnatural happiness and what is more
I'm ruining the one thing that matters most.
There's a lesson to be learned of course,
for as your demons roam free the light at the end of the tunnel almost ceases to be
for the demons play best in darkness and so the light will be temporarily snuffed out

 It's still there though, don't let your demons fool you.
They are you as you are them so let yourself reflect.
You can grow from the lessons around. You should quieten your mind, don't make a sound. For silence is where magic is often found. It's your round now!

Because I knew, I knew it all

I was the dickhead that broke my bloody heart,
 I was the pillock I knew it from the start,
 but I hold no regrets, not one at all because I knew, I knew it all.

Nothing you want comes without  a cost, it can love you and leave you feeling lost,
but I will not turn my back up against the wall... Because I knew, I knew it all

And so you break me down just to build me up again,
i will not frown I'll simply stand against you in this now,
 for I can't pretend I know it all, but I knew I knew it all. Until we meet again, my friend farewell.


I guess now I know, I know nothing at all.