The intensity from within

The emotions I'm feeling,
Of how I am dealing
This heart was once so closed off
Trusting was just never enough,
Look at me, I'm yours for the taking,
But of what I'm afraid of you breaking.
I can't handle these feelings no more,
Letting myself fall, what am I doing this for?
I want to run away but at the same time I can't hide,
Of all the times, this concept I've lied.
I never knew what it was to feel,
But now I know it's all too real.
Its intensity, in all forms, confusion a must, separated into pieces of bruises and trust. For now I see that my love was never enough, it was not true, it was not love, it WAS lust.

For love should not be as romanticised as it is, it's more than just the warm fuzzy from within... It's this mixture of feelings all scrambled in to one, it's creating a connection with someone of whose soul can not be won.
Its creating a bond far beyond this plane of existence,
It's breaking free of your own shackles and finding some persistence,
It's practicing patience and knowing the shadows of the self. Its not wanting to look at somebody else, not out of fear of upsetting the other person but just simply because you're not interested.

Wow, how intense is this feeling I have.

Dream... (31/08/2016)

Listen... Can you hear that?

That's the beat of your heart,
against the gentle waves of excitement...
Adventure awaits!
Just look to the moon, let the waves crash in!
Erase all sense of doom!

Love yourself, as you love thine neighbor;
Respect the wealth you've received in this life...
Thank the other...


Be True To Yourself....

Leap of faith!

Nervous and giggly,
Gearing up...

Safety information explained;
Do the banana boat out of the plane!
The beginning is in sight,
For which I won't fight, this feeling of flight;
The wind in all it's might,
Falling through the air in broad daylight,
Traveling at terminal velocity, passion.. ignite!

Absolutely TERRIFIED for the ending in sight!

It all sounds pretty easy mind!

It's what you do that counts!

It's not who you are,
It's what you do,
It's how you make your mind up too,
It's saying what rings as true,
And accepting what you can't undo.

But life goes on anyway,
You cannot reverse to make a change,
Your life is worth living everyday,
Everything is going to be okay.

Live as every moment counts,
It'd be unfair to let yourself down,
Give yourself the love you seek now,
If what you believe is what you see,
Then please have faith in generosity,
Treat yourself and others compassionately,
Only then will you be free.

Coping mechanisms (12/16)

Denial, is the greatest tool.
The best way to lie to yourself!
Regression is SIMPLY UNCOOL and repression...
well... what good is that?
Humour, however, brings joy...
but not necessarily acceptance.
The sands of time have not pooled,
only clogged up the passage-line.

Never look back, as the pain is in the past,
Can't look forward, because the past holds me back!
Living in the moment seems a tedious task.
So stagnant I'll remain until I'm back in the past...
Silly, silly repression has got my back!

Angelic Influence

My heart is open,
Oh how it glows;
This pink and green ethereal light,
shines through my soul;
Now love takes over,
My will; I take hold,
For now; I can let time unfold,

I'm excited to live, preventing the low;
Manifesting positivity, for the generations below;
To feel what is real, to finally feel whole!
Although, they may think I'm being bold...

I'm understanding so much more than I used to,
I'm loving with my entirety!
I'm so grateful for the way I finally see,
I am awake... I am free...

I wear this smile, upon my cheeks;
I love that I can see and feel,
My skin feels so warm and lovely!
All anybody wants is to simply be!

Those materialistic values,
They are part of the problem;
We love the tech we use,
Yet we ignore, this is our burden.
For when love takes you by surprise, (and it will)
You may even open your eyes;
And truly see the beauty in the sunrise!
Those materials will materialise!
This is where you'll find value!

Change the story, Sadness is not needed

The demons jump up,
they start to scag my clothes, they leave me scarred, a broken mess on the floor,
They shake me and rattle me until I can't take no more,
But here I am, healing they say
and i seem to be gaining the patience and will to face each day

My poetry was once so negative,
change it around, make it so I face each day,
with a ray of light,
a dazzle of day
It will all be okay.

I will show everyone, I will prove myself wrong
Why look upon everything, without a little bird song,

Caught out

Not that it matters anyway,
but your heart is way ahead of your brains,
your actions are not what you think, they're what you feel;
ain't that so surreal?
Stumbling from place to place,
Forgetting to check the makeup all over your face,
this, you can't replace,
everything might be at stake,
your dreams unheard of,
hidden in the fogs of broken dreams,
trying to discover what this all means;
Nothing is truly ever as it seems,
but I guess you manifest your reality,
and if you want it shallow and mean,
you'll never discover what it all really means...

And so he'll keep looking curiously intrigued,
by what he perceives to be me.

Realise eachothers discipline

A heart is hidden so deep in sorrow, Lost in the burrows of hidden remorse, Invisible from the light of the torch, As only shadows can be seen for the most... But the light is at the end of this tunnel. Falling for your closest friend, There's only so long you'll pretend. You know if you say something, he'll only offend. I'm finally ready for my punishment to end. I understand now what I've done to those, Those who confided in me praised the rose, But here I am, falling in woe. Oh love slightly tragic, I don't want to let go. Is this real, or a fragment of my mind, Am I making the same mistake of being blind, I see the flaws, but I can not hide behind, These feelings that are real and oh so sublime. They do not make sense to me at all, A cognitive repulsion lead to this call, A weird backwards attraction, the one that made me fall, Through the sky, no longer able to crawl, One day there will be no need for that wall. Letting the healing progress, And what is more, You have somehow become the one I adore. So I guess finally, I shall say my farewell, You know I was never made for this hell, I'm destined for more than being fool to your spell. I'll meet you again in another realm, You'll just be yet another story to tell... Or better yet see you another year, When both of us become more "mature", I'm talking of course, of a self-love that is pure, If only this happens, then we'll be eachothers cure But for now, I'll follow knowledge of numbers and questions on the universe, I'll become more self-disciplined and focus on each verse, Structure my life away from the hearse, Meditation and discipline, must come first. Passion into study, focus of mind, Determination, realise that love is blind. Deeper understanding will be my find, The higher dimensions will assist from being left behind. For knowledge is what I wish to observe, Truth I wish to conserve. I believe that is what I deserve. A lonely Road yet it may be, But a place where my mind will be free. Blessed be.