Psycho entry, when narcissists collide!

He's probably playing me,
As I lie blissfully unaware,
He's probably laughing,
But I guess I don't care.
Laugh if you will,
I dare you to,
As long as you give me my fill,
Of heart fluttering goo


I know your game and I raise you 10,
For our souls they dance,
It's not this fun with most men!
I hear your choice of words,
I see how you read,
I know what you're doing
I'm following your lead 😋


And genuinely now, I feel quite deeply for you, so go on! Continue to play your games as you do...


Just don't be gutted when I play too! 😉

It's what you do that counts!

It's not who you are,
It's what you do,
It's how you make your mind up too,
It's saying what rings as true,
And accepting what you can't undo.

But life goes on anyway,
You cannot reverse to make a change,
Your life is worth living everyday,
Everything is going to be okay.

Live as every moment counts,
It'd be unfair to let yourself down,
Give yourself the love you seek now,
If what you believe is what you see,
Then please have faith in generosity,
Treat yourself and others compassionately,
Only then will you be free.

Diamond disaster

Leading into the untold memories.
A tale of woe, A childhood released.
A life of torture and incapacity.
Living for what seems like an eternity.

I fear the sounds, the aches I feel.
I dread the clouds that wash over me.
My heart is sound, not blackened beneath,
but my head it pounds, Lost in the sheath.

I'm not the person you may believe.
But I can overcome what made me leave.
I've come back around, with my wreath.
To take away the forgotten, I've come to free.
To help me breathe.

This reality is not as dark as it seems,
Yes the darkness can consume,
It can defy gravity to,
It often seems too awful to be true.
But overcome it you will. You WILL get through.

The tunnel is long and seemingly endless,
It goes on and on and leaves you helpless.
But give in to it and accept the fight,
Learn to crawl in the depths of night,
and just as you feel you can't find your light...
It will wash over you in the blink of an eye.

And here I'll stay to guide,
an earth angel from birth, your connection to the moon.
But you see all things must come to an end,
the good and the bad,
The love of a friend.
One day I won't have a helping hand to lend.
But don't be afraid to chat once again.
The end of the journey, it makes me sad.
although the journey is slowly making me mad.
I can't turn my back on a 'lad'.
You're the best friend I ever had.

And here's a toast,
to the bride and the groom.
My soul will always yearn for you.
Your happiness was so alive and true.
The moment you walked on through.


Where have I gone, I cannot say.
But you will see me another day,
My head is dazed and maybe not okay.
but you know where I lay...

Please don't have another glass of Chardonnay!

Egoic Embellishment

The self, the 'I' we like to show. The untrue self.

We create our stories,

of peace and solitude,

We mask our flaws...

With untruth, so carefully brewed.

We shine our false light,

on everything we do,

Only to realise we've masked

what's actually true.

We play our games, 

our ego is soothed,

We make our claims,

... a selfish rue.

What's to be gained?

It's up to you...

But I won't be the one to queue.

Listen closely, at the stories I tell,

Don't look beyond,

all you'll find is hell.

I didn't want anyone to see,

How the cogs work,

How my human nature,

Made me lurk.

'I'm so ugly', to which you respond 'no you're not'

'I'm so stupid' to which you respond, 'You don't realise your own intelligence'

I did not believe these things, not consciously at least,

but delving into my subconscious, I have found some release.

It turns out I am a sadist, a narcissist in disguise,

I tell the truth through my selfish lies.

You feed my ego, add to my pride,

but the evil that lurks behind these eyes is mine to hide.

I do not need your help anymore,

I've finally realised why I do what I adore,

It's not out of any disrespect,

it's shame... an ego left derelict.

So in comes ego number two,

The one that laughs and smiles at you...

The one that could never hurt or misuse you, 

don't worry she lies to herself too. 

I suppose when the actual light shines through,

It's not so unbelievable, the ego hides it, until it can't be hidden anymore.

Stop adding to the falsity that is 'I'.

It does not need to be another lie.

Be authentic, don't be afraid to cry,

When you find that light you can share it, 

but first, you need to recognise that false light and capture it,

let it grow, nurture it. 

Don't push it back and create a new personality,

because everytime you do that, you push the truth further away. 

Authenticity is a scarcity, 

Walk away from consistent consequential behaviour.

Pushing away may seem like the actions of a selfish man,
A person who quite easily can't see his fingers from his hands.

An inner child who is only now learning how to crawl,
It's taken some time and some people to go through it all.

Self-control... easy to maintain if you're on your own.
Hard to sustain when you can't trust yourself, when you don't know yourself..
I guess I've got to walk this road alone.

I'd love to give you the reins like I did before,
consistently following, I don't need my control.

But I do, inevitably, need to get past the crawl...

Those affected... I can only show remorse...
The feeling is there but yet I can't help but lose it all..
I disconnect, I re-elect... I deject.
What have I been doing all this for?

For fuck sake Shannon, it's taken 8 years of this insane behaviour
It's about time you thought to save ya... Constantly justifying the same wager.
Juggling hearts as if it's your major.

When enough is enough, you need to obey her. She needs respect and self-love.. don't delay her...
Your higher-self stays in a different layer, especially if you can't overcome what makes you stay here.


Look I'm not asking you to stay detached, to stop the quest for love, not lust.
I'm asking you to respect what god gave you and let that magic shine through
like a UV light shows invisible ink! Your fingerprints...

The premise of your being, past your mind, your body.
Your soul needs the nourishment, just like everybody...

Just plant the seeds for your future.
Be patient to see them bloom and appear.
That will be your remedy, this will be your cure

So I refer back to the man that walked away,
was he being selfish or selfless?
Selfish for leaving the important things behind or selfless for seeing the damage he'd cause by sticking around

basically just attempting to avoid that pain and suffering... past his own disdain.