You can't paint a pigeon pink and call it a flamingo.

Hello... It has been some time...
I've missed you, I've missed sharing my life with you... I've missed our conversations... 
I've missed that greatest self... The self that was sacrificed in your presence... And now I've neither that nor you. 

Having changed so much.
Changed into someone who never was before recognised... 

Accepted the reality of nothingness, nothing more or less than any, 
No one to see, barely being, 
 not much to offer,

Just disconnect and loss of sense of self.

Once an embraced illusion of depth of mind,
Fake imagery, false persona,
All becoming blind.
But in matters of reality

The raw realness of it all...
The vulnerable and less exciting version.
Underneath the disguise of a flamboyant flamingo standing out among a flock of fleeting pigeons,
Only to discover that you can't paint a pigeon pink and call it a flamingo.
You can't sellotape peacock feathers to a turkey and call it a peacock. 

Yet dye my hair mad colours and wear wacky clothing and immediately people think of a passionate creative socialite.

 Braid in various colours of wool and people immediately assume some hippy or gypsy type. 

Being not. Just another human.
Neither of the conformist nor the nonconformist.
Neither good nor bad.
Not the softest of individuals but then again Not the hardest.

The big meh.

Neither here nor there.
And that is that.

Could always be worse.
Could have been someone...
Sounds like an awful lot of responsibility.

Fuck you humanity.

Dear humanity,

Fuck you humanity for being lead by your greed and your impatience and your lack of compassion, not just for your fellow humans but for the other beings living on this planet and for the planet itself,
Fuck you for being a plague on our home,
Fuck you for taking and taking over and over again and never giving back,
Fuck you for brainwashing our citizens so much that they can't even fucking see what has gone on,
Fuck you for dulling down the populations so much that nobody can fucking think for themselves anymore and barely anyone seems to truly understand the impact we have on the world around us.
Fuck you for your stupid monetary investments into "making the world a better place" while all the while further destroying our beautiful globe of light and life,
Fuck you for continuing the lust for power and for bombing and killing loads and loads of people just for oil and again monetary gain,
Fuck you for trying to convince us all there's nothing to worry about when there really is,
Fuck you for pushing so many into spiraling depression so that we are so deep in our personal hell that we are too weak to do anything about it
Fuck you for preaching a world of love while all the while deceiving everyone.
Fuck you for being human. Fuck you for being lead by mundane temptations. Fuck you for giving people the "illusion of power" while all the while further distracting them so that they can't actually do anything with that power.
Fuck you humanity for being so fucking weak and just letting these sins run wild.
Fuck you humanity, you selfish selfish beings.

Fuck me for not being able to do anything but write this stupid fucking piece in hopes that I'm not the only fucking 10 headed alien on this planet who actually fucking gives a shit and fucking sees that something needs to change, and although i agree we all need to do our internal bit, I have to ask when does thought become action? Because thinking and contemplating the possibility of change is no good if none of us are willing to put those thoughts into action and actually make a sodding fucking difference.

Fuck you, humanity! Fuck you.

We all have a choice

This karmic cycle must finally end,

If we stay, we stay till the end,

if you break it, I won't pretend,

my self-worth lies through this gate,

my presence and love, don't you underestimate.

I love you dearly, I see the divine within,

But I also see your demonic kin,

I believe we all have the capacity for good and bad,

so remember this when decisions are to be had.

I respect you and look up to you...
but you have to stop playing the fool.

You know I see right through?
Stop acting like a tool!
You are old enough and wise enough to end this childish rue!

Some things you can't undo.

But don't worry I'll make it through without you...

Psycho entry, when narcissists collide!

He's probably playing me,
As I lie blissfully unaware,
He's probably laughing,
But I guess I don't care.
Laugh if you will,
I dare you to,
As long as you give me my fill,
Of heart fluttering goo


I know your game and I raise you 10,
For our souls they dance,
It's not this fun with most men!
I hear your choice of words,
I see how you read,
I know what you're doing
I'm following your lead 😋


And genuinely now, I feel quite deeply for you, so go on! Continue to play your games as you do...


Just don't be gutted when I play too! 😉

Leap of faith!

Nervous and giggly,
Gearing up...

Safety information explained;
Do the banana boat out of the plane!
The beginning is in sight,
For which I won't fight, this feeling of flight;
The wind in all it's might,
Falling through the air in broad daylight,
Traveling at terminal velocity, passion.. ignite!

Absolutely TERRIFIED for the ending in sight!

It all sounds pretty easy mind!

Coping mechanisms (12/16)

Denial, is the greatest tool.
The best way to lie to yourself!
Regression is SIMPLY UNCOOL and repression...
well... what good is that?
Humour, however, brings joy...
but not necessarily acceptance.
The sands of time have not pooled,
only clogged up the passage-line.

Never look back, as the pain is in the past,
Can't look forward, because the past holds me back!
Living in the moment seems a tedious task.
So stagnant I'll remain until I'm back in the past...
Silly, silly repression has got my back!

Angelic Influence

My heart is open,
Oh how it glows;
This pink and green ethereal light,
shines through my soul;
Now love takes over,
My will; I take hold,
For now; I can let time unfold,

I'm excited to live, preventing the low;
Manifesting positivity, for the generations below;
To feel what is real, to finally feel whole!
Although, they may think I'm being bold...

I'm understanding so much more than I used to,
I'm loving with my entirety!
I'm so grateful for the way I finally see,
I am awake... I am free...

I wear this smile, upon my cheeks;
I love that I can see and feel,
My skin feels so warm and lovely!
All anybody wants is to simply be!

Those materialistic values,
They are part of the problem;
We love the tech we use,
Yet we ignore, this is our burden.
For when love takes you by surprise, (and it will)
You may even open your eyes;
And truly see the beauty in the sunrise!
Those materials will materialise!
This is where you'll find value!