Because I knew, I knew it all

I was the dickhead that broke my bloody heart,
 I was the pillock I knew it from the start,
 but I hold no regrets, not one at all because I knew, I knew it all.

Nothing you want comes without  a cost, it can love you and leave you feeling lost,
but I will not turn my back up against the wall... Because I knew, I knew it all

And so you break me down just to build me up again,
i will not frown I'll simply stand against you in this now,
 for I can't pretend I know it all, but I knew I knew it all. Until we meet again, my friend farewell.


I guess now I know, I know nothing at all.

It's what you do that counts!

It's not who you are,
It's what you do,
It's how you make your mind up too,
It's saying what rings as true,
And accepting what you can't undo.

But life goes on anyway,
You cannot reverse to make a change,
Your life is worth living everyday,
Everything is going to be okay.

Live as every moment counts,
It'd be unfair to let yourself down,
Give yourself the love you seek now,
If what you believe is what you see,
Then please have faith in generosity,
Treat yourself and others compassionately,
Only then will you be free.

Change the story, Sadness is not needed

The demons jump up,
they start to scag my clothes, they leave me scarred, a broken mess on the floor,
They shake me and rattle me until I can't take no more,
But here I am, healing they say
and i seem to be gaining the patience and will to face each day

My poetry was once so negative,
change it around, make it so I face each day,
with a ray of light,
a dazzle of day
It will all be okay.

I will show everyone, I will prove myself wrong
Why look upon everything, without a little bird song,

Fear of letting go

My head feels heavy,
My mouth feels dry
I don't know what I'm writing because I'm high
I don't know what I'm doing or why I'm doing it
I  don't even know if this is it
In scared to change but scared to stay the same
I'm feeling insane, in a world so inane
I've repeated a routine that feels almost mundane
And I need to get out before I cut off my brain
I want to be free but I can't reap the truth
I stay in line because it keeps me aloof
It is the case that I can't see
I just don't know what I should be

Or how I should open up to the imaginary
Without losing grip of reality

Every good connection I've ever had
Has been wasted because I've had my eyes set on some other lad

Ain't that stupidly bad?

Aren't I living an idiotic fad

To be a musician that would be rad,
To be a psychologist with a curious head
To create truth maps using maths implying red
And that's how you can see she's run out of things she could have said.

Fuck being dead in a world full of zombies.
Take me now and save me the release. I'm hurting inside but I don't like to feel as I'm worried it'll hurt more than hot coal on my feet.

Thoughts

Head. Confused. Stressed. Lost.
Cloudy. Broken. Dazed.

What am I to do? I need help. I need support. I can't rely on others though.
Why would I?
People ruin everything.

People can take the truth and mould it. They may not even mean to, they just accidentally end up moulding it. What a mess.

People don't understand. It's why I'm afraid. Afraid to leave, afraid to confront.
But that fear is outweighed.
I'm also afraid to lose people. I can't trust anyone, but that doesn't stop me getting attached. No, if only it did.

I'm lost.

Help me.

Serpent

My eyes are open, yet I cannot see
Everything is clouded over
My sight is cloudy,
It's all misted over, portraying my mind
In front of me it's hazy, but I'm not blind

I don't know what to expect,
From the python that flows around my mind, biting at the wires, causing some to intertwine

Yes that's all this is,
Something is destroying me,
It's all out of my control,
This is depravity

All of a sudden I'm okay to do what I know is wrong,
I'm not bothered,
I haven't any morals,
Although this shouldn't last long

This serpent from within has broken the ties
I no longer know wrong from right,
Or do I?
Maybe I just don't care.
Maybe everything I do is justifiable,
I'd like to claim that I'm unaware,
But I'm really not
This is all a lie

After the damage is done,
The python returns,
It weaves itself, it fixes the wires,
My vision gets hazy again,
But I want it that way,
It's my last stretch of humanity
I know so long as I can't see,
Everyone is okay,
They're safe from me.

This is what happens when I lose my sight
It's not something I can simply solve with a lense,
It's not something I can easily fight,
It's just the way reality bends,
When this souleating serpent, engulfs the light.

Mistakes

Question. 

What does it mean to forgive someone?
What does it mean to betray someone?
How can you forgive someone if you can't first forgive yourself?
How can we move away from our mistakes!?

Mistakes... we're human! We make them!
We're the authors of our own stories! However we can't simply write the whole story out and expect no mistakes! It doesn't help that we may write in pen! You can't simply erase mistakes anyway! You can only put a line through them and move on, trying not to repeat them