I find it interesting that everyone has different love to offer people. Some people do big lavish things to show they care while others it's about the little things, some people can only vibrate at a loving frequency and be there for people when they need it and some people hold back on being too clingy in order to show their love. Some people are somewhat overbearing in their love and they give too much and just end up going drained just to love others.
Everyone is different, everyone looks at things differently and honestly it's good to zoom out once in a while.
But at the same time, you can only give love to people in the way that is right for you. Genuine love in my mind is very different to attached love.
Often I find that the people I care most about I stay away from because I don't want to effect their lives too much. I believe . I know I can be hard work and I know that I should work myself out because I don't actually want to be a burden to anyone.
At times I look at the world around me and I get so insecure and scared because it sometimes seems people are only out for themselves, people always want something from others.
I guess this is why I don't like to ask much of people, I just want people to be themselves and to make the most of their lives. In the same way I want that very same freedom myself so that is why the love I give to people is so distant. I love by not wanting, I love by basically just accepting who and what people are and what it is they have to give.
The hardest part about being this way is that people dont actually take the time to understand, I don't think like them at all. I don't act like them. It's actually quite lonely to be this way. And it's upset people that I'm like this and to them it's just as simple as I don't act like i care so I simple must not. But honestly I do care, I just have my own way of showing it. Yes I could change the way I am, but what ends up happening is I give too much to people and end up neglecting myself.
