She had been searching and searching deep within her heart, yearning for more, but tell me this... What was she even searching for?
Everyone looked at her with blind confusion, they were aware that she was looking for something, when they asked her what it was she was searching for, she'd just say, "I don't know, I'm yet to find it".
They looked at her like she was crazy and she couldn't really blame them, she understood why they thought this about her.
All she knew at that point was that when she found what she was looking for, she would know it was found. That void inside her would be filled, her yearning would stop.
Maybe this had a lot to do with why she was always finding herself in and out of different relationships, maybe she was looking for love or maybe she was just looking for her self; now that's an interesting idea... Why would someone be looking for themselves? When you're always with yourself, so it makes no sense how she could have lost herself in order to set out to search for her self in the first place!
Maybe... She was just searching for a reason to stay alive, some sort of meaning to all this jargon we call life. I mean, she couldn't see the point of it all, really. The way she saw it; we wake up, we eat our breakfast, clean ourselves up and then carry on with our drab, little, predictable, somewhat meaningless lives and repeat daily, without taking a second to take it all in.
Zoom out, further and further and you begin to see just how insignificant we really are. This is what she realised.
We're not even a blim, we're tiny little grains of nothingness, when you look at us on a cosmic scale. Yet, we're able to consciously perceive our own existence and the very fact of how insignificant we really are.... This is what made her think, "there's no way our existence is completely meaningless, if we are all this insignificant yet we have the ability to even comprehend our insignificance... Then automatically we can't be all that insignificant in the first place. "
Maybe she was just looking for a shred of hope in this destructive and dark world, surrounded by hateful actions and painful lies, people disguising what truly lies inside and discrediting the damage we inflict in our lives, discrediting what it means to exist...
Nonetheless, whatever it was she was looking for, she had confidence she would find it.
