I'm lying in my bed, I'm thinking through my life situation at the moment.
Recently everyone has been worried about me, I was so confused when people started saying they were worried, as to me everything was hunky dorey.
But fuck I finally can see.
I've been in the clouds for perhaps a bit too long.
I was failing to grieve for my past relationship and ignoring any of my feelings towards the subject. Blindly looking forward with no game plan. Idiocy.
I've honestly lost myself this past year. Its been hard getting me back. I guess that's why they say you need to lose yourself to find yourself. I changed so much and even I didn't realise it. Until now, where I've found myself and she's exactly the same as past me. I've been false as fuck this past year or so.
Wow.
Away with the fairies is an understatement.
I'm on earth again, I ran away because I didn't want to deal with anything, Ive been saying it's because it's boring, it's not boring though it's just scarey. I used to be very strong and pretty independent,but my ex made me feel like I needed to depend on someone. But truth is I was doing fine before he came along. He was adamant we could grow as people while we were together, but I think I went backwards during my relationship.
I created a false ego to help me keep my head in the clouds. I guess it's good to land once in a while, sooner or later these unresolved problems will rack eachother up.
